Mother's Day
by SnowflakeGinny
Summary: On the day she gives birth to their first baby, Lily's husband informs her that he's leaving her. Lily is left with a newborn daughter, a broken heart and a body she can't even look at. She decides to go home to Godric's Hollow and there with the help and love of her "special" family she gets better. Better then she expected to.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: **I am not the legal owner of Harry Potter nor am I the owner of anything that is written in the Harry Potter series.

**A/N: **I haven't been here in while, I know. School, work and adult issues such and romantic relationships going sour preoccupied my mind. While I'm still working on my on-going stories (I haven't abandoned them all), I give you this one instead. It is based on the amazingly wonderful Marian Keyes' novel Watermelon. If you haven't read anything of her, you should and you should do it as soon as possible, she fabulous.

I hope I'd be able to update this on a more frequent pace but if not, do bear it with me.

Many thank and happy reading.

* * *

Chapter One

* * *

They say that a woman is most beautiful when pregnant. I have to disagree. I felt I was anything but beautiful. Nor did I feel I was _glowing_ or _radiating_ as the months passed by and I got bigger and bigger. By the time I was about to give birth whenever someone told me I was beautiful I'd say "as a Victorian townhouse" , they would laugh but I was dead serious.

You probably think I'm just overreacting, over-emotional and jam-packed with hormones thanks to the baby I just gave birth too. Which direct me to another issue – giving birth is a fucked up ordeal. It's not a miracle, the world doesn't go black for thirty seconds as in this muggle television shows and the next moment I'm holding a baby in my arms, my face freshly made up and I'm fit and ready to go. No. It is agonizing pain, your vagina is stretched, ripped and you are bleeding by the gallons. You're also shitting yourself quite a bit, and this is the last time I'd ever mention it. By the time you are ready to pop this parasite out you are exhausted, worn-out and figures why not call it a day? Oh right, you can't.

I know it may seem like I'm the bitterest woman on earth who gave birth but in reality I'm just saying it as it is. I will tell you this, giving birth to a baby, while awfully horrendous and body damaging is also a thrilling, amazing, and overwhelming and I'd do it all over again.

Of course, I did just give birth to a baby girl but I'm also a newly born single mum. Yup, you got it right – my husband just left me not just for another woman, but for another _married_ woman whom he was having an affair for the past nine months, yes I know, ironic.

I just woke up from my slumber, after twenty eight and a half hours of contractions I was finally done with carrying and delivering my first born. Lysander set on the edge of my bed. It looked like he had recently showered.

"Good, you're up." He got up from where he set and stood there, keeping a distance. "We need to talk." He was very polite and formal.

"Have you seen her?" I tried to prop myself on the bed in a way that won't hurt as much. I failed. "I'm still not sure I know what to call her, but isn't she beautiful? oh Merlin my back hurts."

"No, I haven't seen her." He said shortly. "Listen, Lily-"

"Am I supposed to ask the healer to bring her for her feeding or they just know?"

"Li-"

"Have you flooed my parents? Are they coming?"

"Lily, I'm leaving." Lysander said firmly.

"Why?" I was finally in a good position that didn't hurt my back. I snuggled back into my pillows and gave him a small smile. "You only just arrived." I know I should've known better but I was tired and somewhat foolish to see where this was going.

"Lily, listen to me," Lysander said, getting a bit restless. "I'm leaving you."

"What?" I said slowly, trying to understand what is going on.

"Lily, I'm really sorry, but I've met someone else and I'm going to be with her and I'm sorry about the baby and to leave you like this and everything, but I must." He blurted out, not looking at me for one second ,but his face, as I studied it from my bed, looked anguished stricken.

"What do you mean you've _met_ someone else?" I asked, still grasping at things.

"I…errr….mean that I've…well…I've fallen in love with someone else."

"You mean another woman or something?"

"Yes." He said looked at his shoes, at his watch, at the wall, at anything than my eyes.

"Don't you love me anymore?" I asked in a small voice.

"I don't know." He ran a hand in his hair. "I don't think so." He replied.

"And you are _leaving _me?" I repeated the underline of this conversation. He nodded silently. "But what about the baby?" I asked, stunned. He could leave me and that's alright but he couldn't leave me when we just had a baby together. "You've got to care of her, to take care of the two of us."

"I'm sorry, I can't." he said. "I'll make sure she's comfortable and it's not like you can't take care of her financially but I will help and we'll sort something out about the flat and the joint Gringotts account. I'm sorry but I have to go."

I was outsmarted by him. I couldn't believe we were having this conversation yet there I was lying in bed discussing financial arrangements from my now estranged husband. We should be cooing over our little baby girl but instead of arguing if she got my Dad's eyes or his mother's dreamy features, Lysander, _my _Lysander, is leaving me. I need someone in charge to complain about what is going on here. Maybe he got jinxed or confounded to believe he didn't love me anymore. However, one look at him and I know he wasn't hurt by magic whatsoever. This isn't what I expected when I came here.

"Merlin, Lily," he said. "I hate to leave you like this. But if I came home with you and the baby I won't be able to leave."

"Isn't that the whole idea?" I asked, bewildered. "Isn't that the whole concept of marriage?"

"I know that there's no good time to tell you something like this. I couldn't tell you when you were pregnant, what if something had happen to the baby? So I have to tell you now."

"Why were you at the birth, if you planned to leave me the minute it was over?" I asked him.

"Yes, I know." He said hurriedly. "It's because I promised."

"Because you _promised_?" I was trying to make sense of what he just said. "But you've promised me lots of other things, Lysander, like to be with me in sickness and in health, to cherish and love me till death do us apart."

"Well, I'm sorry," he said. "But I can't keep those promises."

"So what's going to happen?" I asked numbly. I figured that I kept him talking I might be able to change his mind and make him see how silly he was being. I guess its part of that muggle notion that the band keeps on playing even when the ship is sinking. I refused to accept the he was leaving, no. by the end of this so called conversation we will talk about prepping the baby's new room and how he was going to pick us up two days from now. There will be no more of this nonsense.

He stood up. I noticed how far he stood away from me, I won't be able to touch him, and he knew I'd be trying to physically reach him out if not only emotionally. He was wearing his best robes, the dark blue ones and he looked grim and very pale and he was never more handsome to me that moment as he was since I knew him.

"Hot date?" I asked bitterly.

He didn't even smile attempt a smile and I knew then and there that I had lost him. He looked like Lysander, sounded much like Lysander and even smelled like Lysander, but it was him.

"I've moved out most of my things." He said. "I'll be in touch. Take care of yourself."

He turned on his heel and quickly and quietly left the ward. I might say he almost broke into a run. I wanted run after him but I was bed-bound courtesy to having just given birth.

Somewhere in the distance I could hear a baby crying and I knew without the shadow of a doubt that it was mine. It was time for me to feed her but my mind was processing everything. I was stunned, heartbroken, horrified, shocked and disbelieving.

He was gone.

* * *

_**SnowFlakeGinny!**_


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: **I am not the legal owner of Harry Potter nor am I the owner of anything that is written in the Harry Potter series.

* * *

Chapter Two

* * *

I lay in my hospital bed for a while, very still and very much _alone._ I was stunned. I was shocked. I was horrified. I couldn't believe it yet in a strange way there was something I did believe about it. There was something familiar about this feeling.

I know it's impossible to feel familiarity with this situation, mostly because I was never abandoned by a husband before. But there was definitely something there. I think there were a few signs, red flags, that not everything was fine with us.

I had known that Lysander was miserable for most of the time that I was pregnant, but I had put that down to my mood swings, my constant hunger, the fact that I cried when I listened to Quidditch games on the wireless, and of course, our sex life was next to none existing. But I always thought that as soon as I pop this baby out we will get on the right track again, get back to normal or even better. We were, after all, supposed to be a family. My body is going to get back to its proper shape and eventually we were supposed to be happy-go-lucky once more.

Eventually.

Supposed.

_Happy_.

I hate these words.

So what was I to do now? I didn't even know where he was or where he went or with whom since he left our flat.

I could hardly believe it.

Leaving me, indeed! My normal reaction was to grab my wand and jinx his penis off and go on a warpath and destroy everything and anyone on my way. But somehow I knew that for the long shot it wouldn't do me any good to seek vengeance. I was to stay calm, keep my mind and my sanity intact. I will take it with grace, with nobility – like a true Gryffindor.

A medi-witch stopped at my bad to give me a checkup. "How are you now?" she asked, a big smile on her face. I hate her.

"Oh, I'm fine." I said, humoring her to go away.

"I suppose you're husband will be here again to see you and the baby." She said, writing something down in my chart.

"I wouldn't bet on it." I answered bitterly.

She gave me a startled look and moved away quickly, over to a nicer, more polite mother, her quill scratching her chart while the medi-witch throwing me nervous glances.

A few hours after Lysander left, Roxanne finally came. Roxanne is not only my cousin, but she is my very best friend. We were the same year at school, the same House; we had the same circle of friends. When we graduated we move in together, she was the first to know about my engagement to Lysander and she served as the maid of honors in our wedding. I couldn't cope with this on my own, and Roxanne would surely tell me what to do.

"Hi, Lils." She said as she walked over to my bed. "I was worried you'd be asleep."

"Wide awake." And abandoned by the love of my life, I thought to myself.

I wanted to burst out and bawl and tell her about Lysander leaving me right then and there, but there was that medi-witch, again, waiting to finish her checkup on her patient, another witch who just gave birth – her husband didn't leave her, seeing that he was there cooing over their newborn and beaming with pride.

"Smug bitch." I mumbled under my breath and gave her a dirty look.

Roxanne set down and held out her hand. I took it. "Lils, I know about Lysander." As she said it I noticed there wasn't any gift for the baby, or a big bunch of flowers or special effect balloons from the shop. She looked nervous and anxious.

So Lysander was telling other people? Then it must be true. My heart sank a few floors down.

"He's left me," I whispered dramatically.

"I know."

"How could he?" I asked her.

"I don't know." She said.

"He's fallen in love with someone else." I said.

"I know." She said.

"How do _you_ know?" I demanded. I needed a longer answer than the previous.

"Rose told me. Lorcan told her." Rose was married to Lorcan. Lorcan is Lysander twin brother. Figures.

"So everyone knows." I said quietly. Roxanne looked as if she was about to die. "So it is true."

"I think it is." she was embarrassed.

"Do you know who the other woman is?" I couldn't believe my best friend, no! My _family_ knew that my husband was cheating on me, planning on leaving me and never said a word! I was mad at her, furious, but my top priority was getting as much information as possible.

"Well…yes," she said, even more embarrassed. "It's that Amanda."

"_What!_" I shrieked, and the witch in the bed next to me jumped, startled by me. "Not sweet Amanda from downstairs?"

She nodded miserably. It was just as well I was lying down.

"That _bitch!_" I exclaimed. "She is _married!"_

"There's more," she mumbled. "He's talking about marrying her."

"What in Merlin's name do you mean?" I shouted. "He's _already_ married. To me!"

"Lily," she sighed, "he's saying he's going to divorce you."

As I said, it was a good thing I was already lying down. That afternoon took away, along Roxanne patience, any hope that I might still harbor.

"Roxanne, what am I going to do?"

"Look," she said matter-of-factly, "in two days you'll be getting out of here. You still have a place to live, you have enough money to support yourself and the baby and you'll be going back to work in a few months. You have a baby to take care and look after. Give Lysander some time and you will eventually figure or work something out."

I was at a total loss. Never in my life have I ever felt this alone and afraid. I wanted to pull over the blankets over my head and die. Unfortunately, this wasn't a very probable option because I had a poor defenseless newborn to take care of. What a great start to life. Less than two days old and already let down by your father and your mother is on the verge of a breakdown.

"How could he do this to me?" I asked Roxanne.

"You asked me that for the millionth time." She said.

So I had. I didn't know how could he do this to me but I knew he had.

I was never in the position of being a victim and I never understood people who behaved as if they were always in that position – if they expected the worst to happen than it was inevitable. Now I know that sometimes people don't volunteer to be victims yet they become anyway and it's not their fault. It's certainly not my fault my husband has allegedly fallen in love with someone else and left me. I didn't expect it to happen but it happened anyway. I wasn't immune to heartbreak or to one disaster after another. It's just life.

Roxanne and I just sat there, trying to come up with a good idea or say something to help move things in the right direction. Suddenly I had the answer. Well, maybe not _the_ answer but an answer. I felt like a muggle movie heroine as I sat up straight in bed and cleared my throat.

"I'll go home. I'll go home to Godric's Hollow."

I finally had a plan.

* * *

_**SnowFlakeGinny!**_


	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: **I am not the legal owner of Harry Potter nor am I the owner of anything that is written in the Harry Potter series.

Chapter Three

* * *

Roxanne picked me up from St. Mango a couple of days after her post-Lysander-dumped-you visit. She rented a muggle car and decided, very bravely, to drive me and the baby back home to Godric's Hollow. If you are wondering why not just use a portkey, apparate or using the Floo network, my answer would be try to do any of these with a week old baby.

She took me home, that is the one I had with Lysander, to pack some things. I had heard nothing from him in the meantime. I was still stumbling around in a grief-stricken daze. There were moments where I still couldn't believe it happen. I was trying to remember everything he said to me but it seemed like a dream. I do remember the feeling. That sick feeling that something was very wrong.

For the most part I was trying to evade that feeling of loss that I couldn't get rid of. It would creep in and won't let go until it has taken over every bit of my mind that wasn't occupied. It was brutal. I was knocked back and was out of breath.

I hated it and it hated me back.

It had to, to hurt so much. That's why I can't remember how I spent those couple of days in the hospital.

I do remember being relieved every time they brought the baby. I just couldn't imagine my life without her.

"It's just you and me, darling." I whispered to her one night while feeding her. Perhaps the fact that we both had been abandoned by the same man probably sped up the mother-daughter bonding process. Nothing like a crisis to bring people together.

She was so tiny, like a doll but _real_. She had tiny feet, arm, nose, lips and I couldn't get enough of stroking the delicate skin of her tiny face wondering what color her eyes were going to be.

She was so beautiful, so perfect, such a miracle.

I didn't believe it when they said I'd feel an overwhelming love for my child but Merlin, it is intense. I finally understand why my grandmother and namesake did what she did for my Dad. I would kill anyone who so much as touched one of the blond wispy hairs on her soft little head.

I could understand Lysander leaving me, ok maybe I couldn't, but I _really_ couldn't understand how he could leave this amazing, perfect little child.

She did cry a lot. But so did I so I can't really complain, can I?

"Why is she crying?" I asked the medi-witch after the fifth time I fed her and checked her diaper.

"She's a baby," she said. "It's what they do."

Three years of Healer School and that's the best she can come up with? I was not convinced.

Maybe she was crying because somehow she sensed her Dad had abandoned her. My paranoia transferred to my infant child. Not even a week old and she already shows signs of her mother's psychosis. Great.

Roxanne, baby and I arrived home. As I let us into our flat, and even thought Lysander told me he was moving out, I wasn't prepared for the bare spaces in the bathroom, the wardrobe, there were even gaps in the bookshelves.

It was so awful.

I sat down on our bad and grabbed his pillow. It still had his scent. And I missed him so much.

"I can't believe it." I sobbed to Roxanne. "He's really gone. He's really left me." on cue, the baby started to cry also, as she too felt the emptiness. It was only five minutes later that I managed to calm her down.

Poor Roxanne looked helpless. She didn't know which of us to comfort first.

"I promise I won't be like that while we drive home," I said as took a deep breath. "Come on," I sighed. "I'd better pack."

I started throwing things into a baby bag before Roxanne stopped me and with a swish of her wand everything was neatly folded and pressed inside numerous bags. I flung into another bag a couple of feeding bottles with pictures of flying hippogriffs (I decided not to breast feed my baby fearing I'd suffer from "shrunken and saggy tit" syndrome – sue me why don't you), I added a few extra pacifiers, toys, rattles, little socks and a stuffed dragon.

As I was now a single parent I knew I was obviously overcompensating. "I'm sorry dear, but because I wasn't smart or beautiful enough I've deprived you of your father who preferred our downstairs neighbor. But let me make it up to by showering you with material goods and suffocating you once you hit puberty." I stuffed a few of my dresses inside a bag, although I didn't know why I bothered with them, it's not as if they fit me anymore. I was a heifer, albeit a small heifer but a heifer nonetheless. I felt as if they whispered and elbowed each other "Does she really think she is able to squeeze into _us_? That fat cow! Small wonder her husband ran off with another woman, look at the size of her!"

"I think it's time we go." I said to Roxanne. "The baby will fall asleep soon and I want to be there before dinner."

"You know, you can't keep calling her 'the baby'," Roxanne said, once we got to the car. "You're going to have to give her a name."

"I can't think about that just now," I said, I was starting to feel a little panicky.

"But what have you been doing for the past nine months?" Roxanne sounded a little shocked. "You must have thought of _some_ names."

"I did." I said, I took out of my bag my engagement and wedding rings, I put them inside during the packing. I took them off two months ago when my finger got so swollen and fat I couldn't wear them. I jammed then onto my finger and they just about fit me.

Roxanne gave me a funny look.

"I'm still married to him." I said defiantly. We were still hoisting the bags into the car's trunk when I sensed I was being watched. I turned around and almost passed-out on the street.

"Oh, Merlin," I said ominously.

"What?" asked Roxanne, her face red and sweaty from carrying the bags.

"Amanda's husband." I muttered.

"So what?" she said loudly.

I was expecting some a sort of horrible, loud, and very emotional scene from him. Or maybe I was afraid he'd come over and blame me for being such a terrible wife that my husband had to replace me with his. I was also expecting him to come and suggest we'd go and shag silly as a payback. I didn't want any of these options.

My eyes locked with his and we exchanged a small nod. I began to cry as soon as he entered the building. For once my baby wasn't.

Roxanne started the engine and off we went. Is this how a refugee feels? Is this how Lysander felt a week ago when he moved out? I looked out of the car's window. My husband was there, in London, somewhere. My flat, my friends, my life was somewhere. I had been very happy there.

I had been lots of things in my life. I had been Lily the Second, Lily the baby, Lily the youngest, my cousin Lily, my baby-sister Lily, Lily the First Year, Lily the Chaser, Lily the Prefect, Lily the Head Girl, Lily the Girlfriend, Lily my Love, Lily my wife. And here I was Lily, the deserted wife and mother of one. It did not sit comfortably with me, that I can tell you.

I was starting to feel the bitterness gather and overflow me. I turned to the baby, napping in the back seat.

"You're father is a bastard." I whispered to my child.

Roxanne snorted, she must have heard me.

Four hours later we entered the small village of Godric's Hollow. It looked so different from the view of London we had just left behind. As I looked at gray mist over the muggle farmers green fields, I felt almost serene. The country always helped me calm down. But once we reached a big house at the end of the village I realized something. I had never felt worse. I felt like such a failure.

"Welcome home!" Mum and Dad rushed over to the car as soon as Roxanne parked. They looked small and older than the last time I saw them. Even though it was only less than a month I still felt very guilty. Both in their fifties, Mum and Dad took some time off from work this summer and decided to spend it home with their grandchildren. Right behind them, said grandchildren appeared. Now when I mean grandchildren I mean Teddy and Victoire's young girls. Abby was about to begin her sixth year this fall and Tess was to start her fourth year.

"Oh thank God," my Mum said when I stepped out of the car. "I was worried you'd come at night."

"I'm sorry," I said, and burst into tears as soon as she wrapped her arms around me. Dad freed the baby from the seat and held her. I really should give her a name soon.

Abby and Tess cooed over the baby, Roxanne shook her head and with a flick of her wrist and a swish of her wand mine and the baby's belonging hovered into the house, all of us stringing along behind them.

* * *

_**SnowFlakeGinny!**_


	4. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: **I am not the legal owner of Harry Potter nor am I the owner of anything that is written in the Harry Potter series.

* * *

Chapter Four

* * *

Dad helped me carry the baby's bags as we went upstairs to my old bedroom. Mum held her and with the girls and Roxanne she propped herself in the living room while Dad and I settled in. I wished I was a little girl again so that my mother would've held me like that and make me feel safe and tell me that everything is going to be all right.

"Heard anything from Lysander?" Dad said abruptly.

"Not a word." I sniffed and put down the bag with all the toys. I was never sure Dad liked Lysander that much. Sure, Luna was and still is a good friend of him and Mum but Dad always considered Lysander, unlike Lorcan and Rolf who were just as somewhat weird as Luna, not as easy going as they were, if anything Dad always thought Lysander was always a stick in the mud. Maybe it was because he was a banker, Lysander, not Dad. But even if he didn't like him that much the last thing Dad wanted was to see me unhappy.

"Now look, Lily," he said in a voice that I recognized as his 'I'm about to give you a speech like it or not this is my duty and I'm very uncomfortable doing it but it has to be done and I actually mean it' voice. "We're your family and we love you no matter what. This is always your home and you and the baby can stay here as long as you like. And…er…both your mother and I know how unhappy you are and if we can help in any way just let us know." He looked relived, glad that he had gotten that out of the way.

"Thanks, Dad." I said. "I do know it." I felt so grateful knowing that they still loved me. It was just that it was no substitute for the man who was my best friend and lover.

Dad left as I started to unpack. I kicked off my shoes and put on some of my books on the shelf. I was halfway through setting up the baby's crib when Mum came in with her in her arms.

"So, Abby and Tess?" I asked mum.

"Well, Bill and Fleur decided to take Teddy and Victoire with them while visiting Fleur's sister. I offered to take them for the summer, it's nice to have them here-" there was a sound of thumping and a bit of arguing. "-Even if they do make a lot of noise."

She set with me while I fed the baby. After I burped her and put her to bed, Mum and I sat quietly on the bed and said nothing. It began to rain and the baby never looked so peaceful.

"She's so beautiful." Mum said.

"Yes." I said, and started to cry quietly.

"What happened?" Mum asked.

"I don't know." I said. "I thought everything was fine. I thought he was thrilled about us having a baby just as I was. I know I wasn't easy all the time and had mood swings and developed strange eating habits and we hardly ever had sex because I felt so fat but I really thought that he understood."

My mother was so good. She didn't try to make any excuses for Lysander, saying he was a man therefore he was different or saying that this was just a phase. Perhaps it was the fact that she grew up during a war, or maybe because she was a journalist and saw almost every scenario possible, she never once tried to sugar coat it for me.

"What am I going to do?" I asked her.

"You've just got to live through it," she said. "That's all you can do. Don't try to make sense of it. You'll only drive yourself crazy. Only Lysander can tell you why he left, no one else can. And if he doesn't want to talk right now, you can't make him. Maybe he doesn't know or understand it himself. You can't change the way he feels. If he says he doesn't love you anymore and does love this other woman you just have to learn to accept it. You've got to live through this."

"But it hurts so much." I said helplessly.

"I know it does," she said sadly. "And if I could make it go away, you know I would."

I looked down at my little girl, she was safe asleep, so peaceful and innocent and I felt unbearable anguish. I wanted her to always be happy and to always hug her and never let her go. I never wanted her to feel the rejection, and sadness and loneliness I was feeling. I wanted to protect her. _Always_. But I wouldn't be able to. Life would see to it.

"What's her name?" Mum asked.

I looked at Mum. "I've decided I'm going to name her after Uncle Charlie." I heaved a look at my collection of stuffed dragons. He was always my favorite Uncle and since he never had any children I figured why not?

"Charlotte." I said.

Mum just stared dumbly at me. She couldn't master any words. Would you believe it? _She_ was crying.

"Dinner!" Abby shouted as she burst in to the room. "Give me a look at her," she was always a little bit too much 'out-there' but meant well. Of course, without waiting for an answer she thrust her face into Charlotte's crib. The poor thing opened her eyes and started to cry in terror. Abby pulled away, slightly disgusted.

"Why's she crying?" she demanded. Dad walked in before I was able to provide her with a proper answer.

"Abby, go and help your sister set the table."

"What's _wrong_ with all of you? What have I said? Grandma, why are you crying?" She said in exasperation.

"Was I not clear, Abigail?"

"Fine," she said. "I'm going downstairs to help Tess." She began making her way downstairs. "Unless she's going to start crying too!"

Mum finally managed to speak. "Come and see her, Harry." Dad set down, he looked a little confused. "You haven't done anything, dear."

"Then why are you crying?" Dad asked, looking slightly taken aback at the sight of the three of us weeping.

"Yes, why are _you_ crying?" I asked. It's not as if her husband has just left her or that her diaper needed changing.

"Because I was thinking of your Uncle Charlie," she sniffed. "And how happy he'll be when I'll tell you named her after him. He'll be honored." Mum hugged me just as Dad picked little Charlotte out of her crib.

"Baby Charlie, eh?" he cooed. "Does she have a middle name?"

"Actually, its baby Charlotte, Charlie is a little too butch for her at the moment." I said and Dad just gave me a smile. "Charlotte Ginevra." I turned to Mum and again she started crying but now she wrapped her arms around me. I started crying too.

Abby was back in the room. "Oh Merlin, I know, I bet you've got that post-tetonal depression thing. My friend Sally Mum's had it back in third year after she had Sally's younger brother. She almost threw her baby to the rubbish bin because she was so mad. She refused to let Sally's dad come in to the bedroom and didn't shower for weeks and looked disgusting it's no wonder she tried to kill herself. I think she was locked up in the hospital for a while. Or something." She didn't once stop to see our reactions while talking.

"Or maybe it was one of Tess's friends who's Mum went loony, or something…" she trailed off."Anyway, is that what's wrong with you?"

"No, Abby," I explained to her. "I don't have _postnatal_ depression. At least I don't think I do." before I could tell her all about Lysander leaving me, Dad decided to break it off.

"Let's eat." We all got up and started making our way to the kitchen. "Put little Charlotte back down and come and join us." I nodded. Mum stayed with me.

"I was talking to Aunt Lily, Grandpa." Abby protested.

"Well, Abigail, you've talked enough for the lot of us." I heard him say as they walked downstairs.

"Now," I said to Charlotte. "That was your first lesson on how not to behave courtesy of your 'Auntie' Abby. I hope you won't take a leaf out of her book."

Charlotte stared wide-eyed up at me.

Mum smiled and I smiled back. It was a knowing secret smile, one that only mothers got to share. A smile of a woman who raised four children and had them do the dishes after every meal.

Later that night as I laid in bed I couldn't help but feel very odd to be going to bed that I spent most of my teenage years. It didn't help that I had a baby's crib next to mine and yet my mother gave me a good-night kiss after I just kissed my own baby.

I was a mother but I still felt like a child myself.

I wondered if there was someone there who also laid awake in bed, in the darkness. If there are they probably thinking about work, love, wondering if they ever find someone to love them or if it a woman, perhaps she is wondering if she is pregnant.

It was no comfort because I felt I was in hell.

I needed something to sooth me. Lysander was my go-to soother but seeing how that was out of the question, I checked to see that Charlotte was asleep and crept out of the room.

I unlocked the Liquor cabinet with a simple unlocking charm and found a bottle of mead I got Dad last Christmas. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a drink. I knew I'd feel better after I'll have it.

"Oh, you're up." Tess stumbled into the kitchen. "Are you thirsty too?" she helped herself with some water.

"Something like that," I said. "Sorry if I gave you a fright." Tess looked a lot like Abby, slender, cat-like eyes, cute little nose and blonde. The resemblance ended there. While Abby was loud, flirty and brutally honest, Tess was a little quieter, kinder, and sweeter. Because of these treats I was always afraid that Tess will always be in Abby's loud shadow but when I heard that she was sorted into Ravenclaw unlike Abby who was sorted into Gryffindor, I felt immensely relieved – she'd be herself.

Tess set down and stared at me. She didn't find it remotely strange to find me here in the middle of the night, drinking.

It was about four AM.

"Pour me a glass of that too," she said, gesturing at the bottle of mead. I arched my eyebrow at her but poured her a glass nonetheless.

"Cheers," she said and raised her glass to me.

"Yes, cheers." I replied hollowly. I drained my glass in one gulp.

"Do you hate him?" Tess asked me while pouring me another glass and then to herself.

So I told her the truth. "I don't know. Some moments I do but then some moments I feel like I can't live without him. It's like I love him a lot more."

She gulped down her drink and instantly refilled hers and mine. "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."

She was so sympathetic, so un-judgmental and far too mature for a fourteen years old that I couldn't but feel a little bit calmer, a little bit more hopeful. I suppose the bottle of mead has also a helping hand in this.

I refilled Dad's mead and cleaned the glasses. Tess was a little giggly but not loud as I helped her to her bedroom.

"I think you'll be a great mother, Aunt Lily." She said as she fell on her bed. "You were always my favo…" she fell asleep mid-sentence.

I walked back to my room and found Charlotte awake. I fed her and changed her diaper before lying down on my bed.

She fell asleep soon enough.

So did I.

* * *

_**SnowFlakeGinny!**_


End file.
